The untold dark side of Ecuador

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Last week I wrote you about a few things you should have warned me about BEFORE I came to Ecuador!

Turns out I forgot a few more…

16. That Ecuadorian men, especially taxi drivers, think of the streets as their private urinal.

17. That Ecuadorian drivers, especially taxi drivers, will make left hand turns from the third right-hand lane.

18. That Ecuadorians don’t line up, they swarm.

19. That Ecuadorians aren’t big “joggers”, meaning if you see a few people running in the streets in the middle of the day you know it means someone just got robbed.

20. That Ecuadorians probably won’t have change… even for your $5 bill!

21. That Ecuadorians in small towns on the coast love to put hidden speed bumps along the main coastal road just for kicks as outsiders lose their suspensions and shatter their teeth.

22. That mañana does NOT mean “tomorrow”, it means “NOT today”.

23. That on Sundays the small towns turn literally into “ghost towns” with everything closing meaning if you didn’t prepare beforehand you’ll have to rumage through the garbage to survive (or live off Doritos).

24. That once the food is served the waiters job is considered finished and will disappear out the back for a smoke.

25. That you will need to have important matters explained through translators who speak worse English than you speak Spanish.

26. That even though Ecuador is a coffee producing country, all that will be offered to you is NesCafe. (Unless you’re in Loja.)

27. That Ecuadorian drivers don’t care what happens behind them, they will turn on their emergency blinkers and stop anywhere and block traffic without a care in the world.

28. That Ecuadorian government employees will give you the wrong information, then take no responsibility for it.

And once again, despite all these setbacks I’ll still be glad I came!

Oh yea, and that signing up for my weekly newsletter on Ecuador living was the best decision you’ve made in your whole life! You can unsubscribe at any time:

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2012 Ecuador Visa Requirements

Ecuador Retiree Residency Visa Requirements

Here’s a list of the current visa requirements (updated for OCT 2012) and translated to English, if you have a tip to add please do so in the comments, thanks!

9-II Investor’s Visa (Real Estate) Requirements

9-1 Pensioners Visa Requirements

VISA 12 – IV Refugee Visa Requirements Ecuador


12-VIII Volunteer Visa Requirements Ecuador

12-VI Work Visa Requirements Ecuador

12-V Student Visa Requirements Ecuador


12-X Tourist Visa Requirements Ecuador

12-IX Tourist Visa Requirements Ecuador

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Top 3 Spots in Ecuador to Find Undervalued Beachfront

beachfront ecuador real estate

What if you only had 5 or 7 days to look for cheap beachfront property in Ecuador?

And you were only interested in something front line, right on the ocean.

You can’t dick around.

You’d be wasting your valuable time going somewhere like Olon, where there is little to no availability or where prices have already jumped.

I’d start in these 3 places that stand out in my mind as the ‘big three’ right now entering October 2012.

3 undiscovered places on the coast where you can still find really cheap, yet desirable, beachfront lots, and where i found the one I bought this week for under $5k.

3 places that could skyrocket in value in the short term if discovered a bit.

Over the last 2 years I’ve witnessed places like Montanita, Playas, Canoa, Ayampe and Ballenita jump in beachfront prices and now in those places its tough to find beachfront lots under $50k or a home under $80k, but property one back from the ocean can still be cheap ($10k for a lot, $25k for a small beach house).

Here are my picks, and for now, this is top secret information so you can get in before the herds do…


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Why didn’t you tell me this about Ecuador?

ecuador real estate rentals

Why didn’t you tell me about these things BEFORE I came to Ecuador!

After being here a full year, here are 15 things you should have told me before I came here…

15. That I’ll blow out my knee while doing a power squat with my pack on while taking an emergency dump in a gas station bathroom because the floor hasn’t been cleaned for months and there’s no where to set the bag down. Then there’ll be NO toilet paper causing me to sacrifice a sock!

14. That even if immigration makes a mistake with your paperwork it can cause you to miss your departure flight from Ecuador, even if it’s totally not your fault and you’re already checked in.

13. That throwing trash out bus windows is not frowned upon and locals will get TICK*D if you say something.

12. There’s a reason people throw the toilet paper in a small bin next to the toilet! Ecuadorian toilets really can’t handle even a few squares without turning into an active volcano. The hard part is not sneaking a peak at the skid mark after you wipe.

11. That all women in Ecuador are after 3 things and 3 things only, marriage, marriage and … marriage. If you’re not up to it you better inform so in writing on the first date before the first round of drinks.

10. Not to look up and admire architecture and birds in the trees as you walk in the streets… because you will fall in a hole!

9. That the police are not on your side and if you call them, even in time of need, they probably won’t show or they’ll ask for a bribe.

8. That sure, I can buy a lot of land in the middle of no where on the coast for CHEAP, but water and electricity services will be spotty at BEST and internet is simply un-available.

7. That roosters or barking dogs will probably wake me up at the a$$ crack of dawn every day for my entire stay.

6. That drivers are “lane-challenged” and that meshing and going with the flow is the only way to make it.

5. That Cuenca is NOT the land of the “eternal spring”… more like the land of the eternal ” late fall”, its cold! Bring an extra jacket.

4. That hot, powerful showers as we know them don’t really exist in Ecuador, the Ecuador “hot” is our “slightly luke warm”.

3. That rice is served with EVERY meal, and that locals consider a mountain of plain, white rice “tasty” and I’m wierd not to do so, too.

2. That even the people in tourist information offices and airline check-in points don’t speak English.

1. That no matter if someone in the street has no clue where something is, they’ll still point you in a random direction, again, and again, and again.

And that despite all these setbacks I’ll still be glad I came!

Oh yea, and that signing up for my weekly newsletter on Ecuador living was the best decision you’ve made in your whole life! You can unsubscribe at any time:

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